I’m such a lame-o
March 7, 2005 | 6:01 pm | Blog | Listening | 4
Saturday night, C’s last night in town, we decided to go out with a bunch of friends for dinner and drinks. Two bands I haven’t seen since I was in high school, the Groovie Ghoulies and 7 Seconds, were playing, and I thought what better way to say goodbye to my fiancé for seven weeks than to let him relive his youth with copious amounts of decibels and drinks. Alas, here’s how the night really went down:
9:30 p.m. — Somehow, a dinner conversation begins on how horrible we look in our driver’s license photos. I call my friend Julie “Bea Arthur” when I see hers. C announces that in my last Oklahoma license I had a shaved head, sunken-in cheeks and an extremely sully look on my face. “Heroin chic,” I called it. Julie asks why I shaved my head, and my reply is that, at 16, I thought I was really, really punk rock. The money I’d pay to get one last laugh at that photo.
9:45 p.m. — I suggest we go to Mary Jane’s to see the bands. Everyone marvels at how long it has been since they’ve seen both bands. I’m pretty sure the comment “Wow, they’re still together?” is uttered by someone.
10:12 p.m. — We arrive at the bar. Lots of teenagers are standing outside, looking all dour and disaffected with their ripped clothes and safety pins. I would normally complain about the lack of parking, but since we’re on the scooters, we park on the sidewalk, right by the door. We are so hard core.
10:16 p.m. — Twelve dollars to get in?! How many bands are playing?! What time does the show start?! How much are pints of beer?! We all begrudgingly pay the fee and make our way toward the bar. The guy doesn’t even ask for my ID.
10:20 p.m. — The Groovie Ghoulies go on. All their songs sound exactly the same. Was I really that into this?
10:34 p.m. — Everywhere there are young girls trying to act punk but wearing really revealing clothes and flirting with boys. How can you flirt and be standoffish at the same time? There are kids with dreadlocks, Mohawks and green hair. Everyone looks dirty. Everyone looks too cool for their own good. I want to smack the smirk off one girl’s face. Half the kids have Xs on their hands, indicating they are too young to drink. The other half look like they are too young to have even driven to the bar.
10:42 p.m. — I am stunned at the realization that 7 Seconds has been around longer than I have been alive, and a full decade longer than most of these kids are old. I decide to buy another beer.
10:44 p.m. — I suddenly realize that while turning 25 doesn’t sound so bad, turning A QUARTER CENTURY OLD sounds horrible.
10:58 p.m. — Time for another beer. 7 Seconds starts while I’m at the bar, and it takes me 10 minutes to work my way back through the crowd.
11:13 p.m. — C yawns, which causes me to yawn, which causes Alice to yawn. We suck.
11:15 p.m. — Alice says to me, “It’s funny to see these kids parading around so self-righteously, when my generation was the one who started this whole punk rock thing.” I have another beer.
11:22 p.m. — I CAN’T BELIEVE these kids dress like this. I feel so removed from the shaved-head girl in that old driver’s license. The girl in front of me is wearing more piercings than clothes, and here I am in my Gap jeans, sensible shoes, warm overcoat and wedding ring. My feet hurt.
11:35 p.m. — How can a set of 30-second songs seem so long? What time is it? When are we going home? I want to leave, but I paid $12 whole bucks to get in. Everyone looks bored.
11:40 p.m. — STOP WITH THE MOSHING ALREADY. You kids just scuffed my new shoes!
11:45 p.m. — Show’s finally over, we head for home. Christopher says “Yeah, I’m not quite as into that music as I was when I was 16.”
11:59 p.m. — In bed before midnight. We are so totally not hard core.
Hilarious website! Wait till you reach my age and you fight to stay awake just to see “Weekend Update” on SNL.
Thanks Ceres! Say hi to Oklahoma for me…
my name is jeannie and who’d da thunk that i was not the only girl at the ripe old age of 16 to have a high school I D with a shaved head and ride a scooter. what town are you from?
I grew up in Oklahoma City, moved to Houston in 2003, and now I live in Korea. Where you from?